Sunday, December 22, 2013

And then there was this purple elephant who walked like a monkey...

Pregnancy dreams are CRAZY.  As I've mentioned before, I have terrible insomnia these days.  We're not talking about waking up fifteen times a night to pee or my body preparing to get less sleep for baby.  We're talking 0-1 hours of sleep a night.  That's it.  Awake 23 hours, asleep for 1.  I was beginning to go crazy.  Literally.  One bonus (if there were any bonuses) was that I wasn't having to experience the weird pregnancy dreams I had read and heard all about.  I don't think I was ever asleep long enough to get to dreaming!  

When I went in for an OB appointment, wild eyed and crazy haired, mumbling something Shakespearean-esque about needing to find sleep in the deep dark shadows of the forest or something, my doctor shoved a prescription of ambien in my hand and ushered me out of her office, sighing with relief as I went on my way (not really, but it sounds better to say it that way).  Anyway, ambien is lovely...even if I am still searching for more sleep in the deep dark shadows of the forest.  

When I have taken ambien sporadically in the past it has put me to sleep for 8-10 hours and left me feeling slightly groggy but rested the following morning.  Now?  I get 3-4, sometimes 5, hours of sleep from it.  Which still probably isn't enough, but it feels like heaven to what I was getting before.  It has also allowed me to dream those crazy pregnancy dreams.

Some are typical (according to things I've read) like I go to the store and suddenly remember I left the baby at home in the high chair.  Others are strange like I'm at the zoo and all the animals are talking to me - giving me birthing advice and directing me where to go to get parenting tips (apparently the monkey house has that information).  There are the sad ones where I find myself talking to various people in my life who have passed away who return in order to instruct me on the newest fads in diapering.  And the terrifying ones where someone breaks in and hurts the baby.  And then there are downright bizarre ones like last night's dream that I was on a Japanese-style game show to win a breast pump where I had to scream various nonsensical things at homeless men and babies in order to win as loud cartoon-like music played in the background and big, stuffed bottles kept swinging and hitting me in the head.  I kept telling the game show host that I could get a free breast pump from my insurance company and didn't want to yell at anyone, particularly homeless men and babies (and I didn't particularly care for getting slammed in the head by giant bottles), but he insisted I keep going, and the crowd, which included Kristin, my family, and my friends, were all cheering me on.  So I kept playing.  Yelling at babies and homeless men and getting whack after whack from big, stuffed baby bottles...

The first thing I thought of when I woke up (after 3 hours of sleep)?  Maybe I should reconsider whether this sleeping long enough to dream thing is really necessary.  

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