Nesting...

A few days ago it started:

10:00 p.m.

Me:  *yawn*  I am so tired.  I think I'll go to bed.

Kristin:  Wait!  I want to change the sheets first.

Me:  Okay, you want help?

Kristin:  No, it'll just take a minute.

10:30 p.m.

Me:  Almost done in there?...hello?

I walk into the bedroom to find the mattress and boxspring off the bed and Kristin sweeping under the bed.

Me:  What are you doing?

Kristin:  I figured I'd hurry and clean under the bed.

Me:  Obviously.  I'm really tired.  How much longer?

Kristin:  Just a few minutes.  You can take a nap on the couch.

11:00 p.m.

Me:  How's it going in there?

Kristin:  Almost done.  I just want to dust and clean off the dresser and finish making the bed.

Me:  Mmhm.

11:30 p.m.

Kristin:  I'm done!

A couple of days later:

Kristin:  What do you want me to do?

Me:  Can you clean off the table?

Kristin:  Sure.  I'm going to clean the bathroom first, though.

Me:  Ok.

An hour later:

Kristin:  Why does cleaning such a small room take so much time?

Me:  I have no idea.  But when you're done can you clean off the table?

Kristin:  Sure!

An hour later:

Me:  How's the table coming?

Kristin:  I'm working on the living room first.

I walk into the living room to find the rug rolled up and placed in the corner, the couch pulled out, and all the cushions stacked nearby. 

Me:  What are you doing?

Kristin:  I thought we should probably clean behind the couch.  

Me:  I see.

Kristin:  What are you working on?

Me:  I was working in the kitchen...I guess I'll clean off the table next.

Since then Kristin has tackled the front closet, hall closet, and nursery closet and washed all of Baby Blueberry's clothes and organized them.  She definitely has the nesting bug.

As for me?  I want to have the bug, I have lists made - clean out all the cupboards in the kitchen, go through the pile of papers that have been sitting there for weeks, organize the filing cabinet, finish the other closets, organize the nursery etc, etc, etc.  The problem is that everything takes twice as long as it used to, and I have to sit down and rest after each task because I'm just so darn tired...which means I have a lot less time in the day to get everything done (good preparation for motherhood, eh?). 

One thing I have decided I can actually do is cook.  A lot of people have mentioned that one of the hardest things to do after the baby is born is to cook and prepare meals.  So I have decided that each week I will make double of one or two of our meals and freeze the extra.  That way we'll have lots of meals ready to heat and eat once Blueberry arrives.  I made my first "double meal" tonight - corn chowder!  It didn't take any extra time and just like that we had dinner for tonight and tomorrow as well as two meals in the freezer all ready to go!  Easy peesy!...of course after I finished cooking I had to sit down and rest for an hour.  I guess I'll leave the real nesting to Kristin.  Carry on, mama bear, carry on.

And then there was this purple elephant who walked like a monkey...

Pregnancy dreams are CRAZY.  As I've mentioned before, I have terrible insomnia these days.  We're not talking about waking up fifteen times a night to pee or my body preparing to get less sleep for baby.  We're talking 0-1 hours of sleep a night.  That's it.  Awake 23 hours, asleep for 1.  I was beginning to go crazy.  Literally.  One bonus (if there were any bonuses) was that I wasn't having to experience the weird pregnancy dreams I had read and heard all about.  I don't think I was ever asleep long enough to get to dreaming!  

When I went in for an OB appointment, wild eyed and crazy haired, mumbling something Shakespearean-esque about needing to find sleep in the deep dark shadows of the forest or something, my doctor shoved a prescription of ambien in my hand and ushered me out of her office, sighing with relief as I went on my way (not really, but it sounds better to say it that way).  Anyway, ambien is lovely...even if I am still searching for more sleep in the deep dark shadows of the forest.  

When I have taken ambien sporadically in the past it has put me to sleep for 8-10 hours and left me feeling slightly groggy but rested the following morning.  Now?  I get 3-4, sometimes 5, hours of sleep from it.  Which still probably isn't enough, but it feels like heaven to what I was getting before.  It has also allowed me to dream those crazy pregnancy dreams.

Some are typical (according to things I've read) like I go to the store and suddenly remember I left the baby at home in the high chair.  Others are strange like I'm at the zoo and all the animals are talking to me - giving me birthing advice and directing me where to go to get parenting tips (apparently the monkey house has that information).  There are the sad ones where I find myself talking to various people in my life who have passed away who return in order to instruct me on the newest fads in diapering.  And the terrifying ones where someone breaks in and hurts the baby.  And then there are downright bizarre ones like last night's dream that I was on a Japanese-style game show to win a breast pump where I had to scream various nonsensical things at homeless men and babies in order to win as loud cartoon-like music played in the background and big, stuffed bottles kept swinging and hitting me in the head.  I kept telling the game show host that I could get a free breast pump from my insurance company and didn't want to yell at anyone, particularly homeless men and babies (and I didn't particularly care for getting slammed in the head by giant bottles), but he insisted I keep going, and the crowd, which included Kristin, my family, and my friends, were all cheering me on.  So I kept playing.  Yelling at babies and homeless men and getting whack after whack from big, stuffed baby bottles...

The first thing I thought of when I woke up (after 3 hours of sleep)?  Maybe I should reconsider whether this sleeping long enough to dream thing is really necessary.  

Blueberry is...

A few things I know about Blueberry so far:

She is stubborn.  She doesn't like to move, even when prodded, until she is good and ready.  And that could be a very long time.

She loves cats.  These days Milly loves to lay on my belly and purr.  Blueberry responds every time by kicking, and Milly responds by kneading my belly to say hello.  They play this odd game of tag daily.

She loves to do super kicks at times when me jumping in surprise is awkward (please ignore the jerking woman in the corner).

She loves choral music, isn't a fan of rap.

She likes Kristin's weird "HI BABY" voice which scares me (both the voice and the idea that the baby will find comfort in it).

And lastly?  I'm pretty sure she already knows she's going to be loved a whole bunch by two mamas who have wanted her for a very long time.  :)

What's in a Name?

Two things people always ask:  do you know what you're having (uh, a baby, duh!) and have you picked out a name?

It's very bizarre to name a child.  To know that this baby will be expected to carry this name around with her for the rest of her life (unless during a streak of independence she goes down and changes it to something like Peace Love Freedom...which I wouldn't totally object to).  

Choosing a name has been an interesting adventure for us.  First of all, I'm not super picky.  Which seems like it would make things easier, but it doesn't.  Second of all, Kristin has taught school for 15 years and has known a lot of kids.  With a lot of names.  Which means she has formed a lot of opinions.  She is also expert #1 on coming up with terrible nicknames that other kids might find to call our child.  "How about Ella?" (without skipping a beat) "Oh, so you want our daughter to have terrible self esteem when her classmates take to calling her Ella the elephant?!?"  Then there's the whole trying to figure out whether a "different" name is okay.  And what about spelling?...would it be okay for her to chronically have her name mispronounced and/or misspelled?  And what will the name say about her when she is a baby?  A 3 year old?  Fifteen?  Thirty?  I have to remind myself that whatever her name is will just become her...but it's still weird.  

After lots of discussions and lists, though, I think we've finally narrowed it down to three "acceptable" names (which we aren't going to share at this point :)).  Kristin has had students with some; all have been tried out at the ages of newborn, 3, 15, and 30 with varied success; some have obvious nicknames; and some may be chronically misspelled or mispronounced by teachers or baristas.  But it's a list.  A list of names we can both agree on.  A list of names that hopefully will give us sufficient options when we finally meet our little girl and give her a name she will likely carry with her long after Kristin and I are both gone.

PS - My vote has always been Blueberry, but for some reason Kristin continually vetoes it.  :)

Warning: Complaining Ahead

Wow it's been awhile since I wrote.  So much for writing at least once a week.

Truthfully, I have thought about writing several different times over the past few weeks, but I've been so tired and cranky and feeling pretty much awful that I just never felt like I had anything good to say.  I would start to write something and think "wow, that's negative," delete it, and move on to doing something else.  The thing is, I have always felt that there is this pressure out there to constantly be happy and glowing during pregnancy.  Rarely, if ever, have I heard pregnant women complain about how absolutely crappy they feel.  All. The. Time.  Since being pregnant, however, whenever I say "I am sooo tired" or "everything hurts" women who have experienced pregnancy tend to fall right into "me too!" or "pregnancy was the worst."  It's almost like they just wait for someone to give them permission to complain.

Well, I say enough.  I'm not going to wait for permission.  I'm just going to say it.  Pregnancy sucks.  The wretched insomnia (whose only purpose seems to be to torture me), the body aches, the carpal tunnel, the tendinitis (I never thought I would look so longingly at a bottle of off-limits ibuprofen...I hereby promise to NEVER take ibuprofen for granted again), the heartburn and indigestion (ditto on not taking Pepto for granted anymore), the swollen ankles (and hands), the "morning sickness" that never really goes away...the list could go on and on.

I know in the end it will all be worth it, but right now, I'm not thrilled.  And I know it's just going to get worse over the next 10 weeks.  Which doesn't really help.  Especially when I'm going on 1-2 hours of sleep a night.  While I'm all for being positive and focusing on the end result (despite all the bad stuff, I really am excited!), I also think it's important to remember the actual experience.  Which includes the aches, the pains, the discomfort, and the complaining (sorry Kristin!).

Now hopefully I can move on to writing about more exciting and happy things like the nursery, the insanely active child inside of me, and pregnancy pictures!