First Appointment

Today was your first doctor's appointment!  We got you all bundled up and ready to go...you seemed a little skeptical of the carseat...

Our regular doctor wasn't in today, so we had to see someone else.  He was a nice doctor but didn't seem to know a whole lot about babies.  They weighed you and discovered you had dropped down to 6 pounds 13 ounces.  Mommy and I were concerned about the weight loss, but the doctor didn't seem very concerned.  He just told us to keep doing what we were doing and come back in a few weeks for a one-month check up.

Once we got home we decided we would take your newborn pictures and relax for the rest of the day.  The pictures turned out great - Mommy did such a good job, and you were so calm the entire time!  

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Homeward Bound

You spent last night under the bililights again.  We had a bit of a scare when we woke up in the night, and you had pulled your mask off.  We were worried that the lights may have hurt your eyes, but our nurse, Michelle, assured us it would be okay.  She was a weird one, that Michelle, but she drew you funny little eyes on your mask and gave us some extra supplies to take home, so I decided not to be too upset by her weird ways.

This morning they repeated your bilirubin test, and it came back completely normal which means we also got the green light to go home!  You certainly chose a good day to go, Sophie, as there was a huge blizzard going on outside this morning!  You certainly seem to be all about winter as the day you were born was one of the coldest ever here - Mommy's school was even cancelled for a couple of days because of it!  So this morning we waited a couple of hours before braving the cold weather and thankfully made it home without a problem.

The view from our hospital room - brrr!

Mommy snuggling you before we head out into the cold!

Mama showing off your "going home" outfit

All buckled up and ready to go home!

Once we got home, we introduced you to your puppy sister, Ellie!  I was a little nervous about how she might react to you initially, but she immediately checked you out with her nose and declared herself your protector.  She pretty much hung around you the rest of the day.

Ellie's first sniff

She gets a little closer.

After we had a little time to get settled, Mommy went out and did some snowblowing - there was a lot to clean up after the blizzard this morning - 

We spent the rest of the day relaxing and enjoying the peace and quiet of home.  Meanwhile, Ellie wouldn't take her eyes off of you... 

Still watching over you...

Keeping a close eye...

Bedtime and she is still there...

Mommy and I are so happy to be home and so happy that you're here with us.  The last few days have been a blur but one thing is clear - we love you so much and are so excited to be starting this new journey with you.

Blue...

You’re two days old today!  Despite having your days and nights all mixed up, you are such a good baby!  You rarely make a peep and never cry – I keep asking the nurses if they are sure everything is okay because you are just so calm!  One nurse said “calm parents make calm babies.”  I guess that means Mommy and I are doing an okay job so far.  :)  We keep hearing the baby across the hall cry and cry and cry.  We just snuggle you even more!  Mommy especially loves to just sit and cuddle you all the time.  She can’t get enough of your chubby little cheeks!

This morning they did a bilirubin test and it came back high.  They followed that up with a blood test, taking the blood from your heel (that's where they always take your blood from - if you look at the picture above you'll see lots of bandaids on both of your heels!).  The nurse fed you sugar water while they took the blood.  You were happy as a clam, but I couldn’t stand to watch.  That test came back high as well, so they put you under the blue light for several hours and said they would do another check later in the afternoon.  It killed me to see you under there.  I just wanted to hold and snuggle you!  And it made me sad that you had to hang out under the light all day.  All of the nurses that came in commented on how good you were, though.  You just slept under there (with your little eye mask on) all day.  I was so grateful that you slept so well and didn’t cry.  I don’t think I could have dealt with it if you were stuck under there crying!

When the afternoon test (another heel blood test!) came back, your bilirubin was still too high.  The doctor said we could either take you home with a biliblanket and follow up daily at the clinic or we could have you stay under the light overnight.  

At that point (late in the afternoon), we decided it would be better to stay and keep the lights going full force.  So looks like we’ll have another night here.  I was released from the hospital, but they’re letting us stay in our same room so we can be with you, which is nice.  As you can see in the picture below, the bili lights are obviously working.  When we take your eye mask off we can see the yellow around your eyes where the lights haven't been able to get to.  

You have been a little dehydrated today – there were crystals in your diaper.  The nurses say that is normal, especially with the bili lights, but I freaked out!  I have been breastfeeding you exclusively, but with the bilirubin light the doctors say that we should start supplementing with formula as you will likely become dehydrated under the blue lights.  Today we fed you some formula with a syringe.  Thankfully you drank it all up like a champ when Mommy fed it to you (with a little help from a nurse)!  I’m so happy – and thrilled that Mommy gets to help feed you too!

Mommy went home for the first time this evening.  She needed to pick up a few things, and I figured at least one of us should breathe some fresh air!  She hurried right back, though, and said she missed you so much in the short time she was gone!  Hopefully tomorrow we’ll break out of this place and head home.  I can’t wait!

Your Name, Officially

Today your name became official.  

Sophie Lila Moe-Ricks

Mommy and I poured over names for months.  We looked at list after list after list after list - most popular names, old names, names with particular meanings.  We would come up with a list, whittle it down to four or five names and then start all over again.  In the end?  We had a list of five names and decided to wait until you were born to choose "the one."

Your middle name was picked out long ago.  Once we found out we were pregnant we agreed that if you were a boy your middle name would be Roger, after your Grandpa Moe.  He was such a good man, and I am sorry that you will never know him except through stories and pictures.  

We decided if you were a girl your middle name would be Lila, after your Great Grandma Ricks.  Grandma Ricks passed away when I was a girl, but I still remember time spent with her - she was a special woman who had an impact on me, even at a young age.

After finding out you were a girl, we toyed with using Lila as your first name.  We went back and forth between liking it and not but eventually settled on using it as a middle name.

We had also figured out your last name a long time ago.  After Mommy and I got married, we decided not to change our last names.  She remained Moe and I remained Ricks.  But you, my Sophie girl, get to have a piece of both of us in your last name.

It wasn't long after you were born - probably in the first hour or two - that we picked Sophie from our final short list.  We both agreed it fit.  We filled out the birth certificate paperwork today and just like that, it's official.

As for our names?  We talked about a lot of different words for Mom and finally decided on Mommy and Mama for now - probably switching to both being Mom later...but that's really for you to decide and figure out. :)

PS - Some names that we passed up: Lucy, Olivia, Madison, Alexis, Madeline, and Lyla (Mommy was also strongly rooting for Aquanetta or Sheila :))

PPS - If, in the end, the choice had been mine?  You would have been Lila Blu. :)
PPPS - People are already calling you Sophia instead of Sophie.  Mommy shot down Sophia because she said it reminded her of The Golden Girls.  We'll have to watch that show together some day... :)

One Day Old...

You are one day old today, Sophie!  We have enjoyed the last day getting to know you and introducing ourselves to you.  We are thrilled to have you here as part of our family!

Since yesterday we have spent a lot of time snuggling and taking lots of pictures with you!  You have the tiniest feet!  All of the nurses comment on how small they are.  Your little id bracelets keep falling off, and every nurse who comes in freaks out that you don't have the ID bracelets on (notice they are above your head in the picture below?).  We won't let you get kidnapped, though, we hold you too close and never let you out of our sight!

You got to meet your Auntie Jenny twice now!  She stopped by last night and came by again today to drop off a few things for us!  It was good to see her, and she loved you so much!  Hopefully we'll be leaving the hospital tomorrow and you will get to meet your puppy sister, Ellie!

Welcome to the World, Sophie Lila!

You arrived today!  I can't believe you're finally here!

We arrived at the hospital yesterday afternoon.  Mama's blood pressure was doing funny things, and the doctor had said that once we passed 37 weeks if it went funny they would induce me.  On Saturday I noticed my blood pressure was going up again, but I decided to wait to call the doctor Sunday morning because I knew our doctor would be on call that day (and my blood pressure wasn't high enough to panic about).

I woke up during the night and realized that my cell phone wasn't charging.  I was beside myself.  Between lack of sleep, hormones, and anxiety about knowing what was to come, I pretty much lost it.  Mommy was awesome, though.  She helped me calm down, had me check my blood pressure, then said we would go to the Sprint store to get a new phone before we called the doctor.  The girl at the Sprint Store was moving so slooowwwlllyyy.  I thought I was going to die.  At one point she asked "what are you guys going to do today?"  I wanted to say "HAVING
 A BABY, so hurry it up!"  But I didn't.  :)

We went home, made some lunch, and I called the doctor.  She suggested we head in to the hospital - "but you don't have to rush here," she said.  That made me feel better about our decision to wait to call.  We got our stuff together and headed to the hospital (new cell phone in hand).

Once we arrived at the hospital (around 2 p.m.) they checked me out and said that while I didn't have preeclampsia, my blood pressure was elevated, and I was already having contractions (which I couldn't feel).  The decision was made to admit me and start me on pitocin.  The time had come!!  I was so excited!    

They got us moved into a labor and delivery room and got the pitocin going.  I hated being hooked up to an IV, but I was happy we were on our way.  They increased the pitocin every thirty minutes and every time they checked I had progressed further and further.  Everything was going great - I wasn't feeling any pain (even though the monitor was saying I was having really strong contractions) until they decided to break my water around midnight and continue to increase the pitocin.  Mommy was awesome through all of it.  She took such good care of me (and you!) and made sure I had everything I needed. Our nurse, Sarah, was awesome as well.  Before you were born we had discussed having a doula there, but I decided against it.  Sarah ended up basically filling that role.  She was there almost the entire time and was awesome at talking both Mommy and me through everything.  We were lucky to have her.

Around 3 a.m. I decided I needed something for the pain and mommy helped get an epidural set up.  The first one didn't work, so I had a second one which worked like a charm.  I started pushing around 4:30 and you arrived at 5:58.  Our doctor was just about to end her shift, so I'm glad you decided to make your appearance in time!  :)

You weighed 7 pounds, 10 ounces and measured 19 1/2 inches long!  You came out wailing...and wailing...and wailing.  Eventually your cries turned into squeaks which everyone got a kick out of.  You cried so much I thought you might never stop - seems you didn't like being out in the world just yet.  Mommy cut the cord and we both got to cuddle you until you calmed down.  They weighed and measured you and gave you your first bath.  Mommy kept a good eye on everything they were doing.  She was such a good support to both of us. 

You are beautiful, little girl.  We love you and are so glad that you have joined our family!

PS - Here are just a few pictures from your first day - 

 Your very first photo!

 Our first family photo!

 Proud Mommy!

Proud Mama

 Ahhh, warm light!

First Bath!

All wrapped up and content...finally!

 Getting some shut eye (at least one of us is!)

 Such a beautiful, serious baby...

Cozy little baby

Mommy having her first real "talk" with you...

Wait...what?

Ever since we got pregnant it's been interesting to watch people's reactions.

Some, who know we had been trying, are like "Finally!  That's great!  Congratulations!"

Some, who didn't know, but who have other lesbian friends or have gone through the process themselves say "That's awesome!"

And some who maybe aren't as familiar with the whole thing say "Wow!  Congrats!...Wait...What?!?"

Some people have asked us questions about our process along the way, others you can tell are wondering but are too polite or nervous to ask.  While I won't share all of the details here, I will share a little - with an invitation for questions from those who are wondering or curious.  I know it's a lot to take in for some of you :)  (Oh, and PS - you can stop reading if you don't want to hear about, you know, lady parts :)).

We decided years ago that we wanted to have kids.  We didn't know at that time what form that would take.  Would one of us carry a baby?  Would we foster?  Adopt?  We wanted to be somewhat settled, have a house, be done with school.  Once all of those things were accomplished we got more serious about figuring out how to go about starting a family.  After a lot of discussion, we decided I would try to get pregnant using donor sperm.  We spent a great deal of time pouring over donor profiles online (basically write ups about each donor), trying to find someone that sounded similar to Kristin in looks, heritage, and personality.  And finally, one evening while eating dinner at this table...

we settled on "the one."  He fit everything we were looking for and seemed to have a good sense of humor - just like Krisitn!  We called the sperm bank the next day and got the process started.

We decided to try doing IUI (intra-uterine insemination).  Think of it as middle of the line between turkey baster and IVF.  Basically I would go into the doctor's office for two appointments a month (when I was ovulating), and they would put the thawed sperm (delivered frozen from the sperm bank) into my uterus using a catheter.  While the procedure wasn't painful, it was annoying and quickly got a little old. This went on for several months before we added infertility medication.  After that didn't work, the doctor suggested we go in for infertility testing which wasn't covered by insurance (actually none of this was covered by insurance including the twice monthly doctor's appointments :-/ ).  I really didn't want to do the testing, and we probably couldn't have afforded it, so we decided to give it a couple more months (without the infertility medication) before re-evaluating.  I had pretty much given up.  I was sad that it likely wouldn't work but somewhat relieved that I wouldn't have to continue having these appointments month after month.  

And then, just as I had given up all hope?  Wa-la!  It worked!  I almost fell over when I saw the positive pregnancy test.  All of those months.  All of those appointments.  And it finally happened when I had pretty much given up...so crazy.

And now here we are...ready to welcome little Blueberry into our lives and into our family.  So many years of hoping and dreaming and planning.  I can't wait.  :)

Almost there...

Week 9

 Week 12

 Week 19

 Week 24

 Week 29

 Week 32

Week 36